Low-Maintenance Is a Lie
After years of trying to seem easy to love, I’m asking for what I want and actually making it easier
“Any woman who says she’s low-maintenance is lying.”
The words stung like a slap. I glanced at the women seated around me; a few were grinning, nodding in agreement. One or two looked like they might be planning to bolt for the door. I thought about joining them.
We’d gathered together, 20 or so women in a candlelit yoga studio on a Saturday morning, to learn about power. And power, we were learning, meant getting what we wanted. And that, in turn, required knowing what what we wanted. And asking for it.
For years, I considered myself a woman of simple desires, at least where romance was concerned. My generation was raised to take great pride in our independence, which meant taking care of ourselves, by ourselves. The ability to blaze our own trail was the result of a long, hard-fought battle, and a privilege denied to many of our mothers and grandmothers. It wasn’t something to be frittered away on the impractical, superficial, or (worst of all) greedy. I understood those marching orders and, as if by osmosis, dutifully restricted my rapaciousness to career matters and dark chocolate. My needs, where I was willing to admit having them, were unimpeachably…
