Affirming Time: A Transformational Journey

Time has pushed me to the edge of reason.

The days flow from morning to night, season to season. Time has pushed me to the edge of reason.

For as long as I can remember, Time and I have been enemies. As a child, I spent summers grounded for getting home late. As an adult, the old adage ‘there aren't enough hours in the day’ rings very true — I would pay a premium for extra hours in a day if anyone would care to invent it.

I experience time as a ticking bomb. I do not distinguish between minutes or hours. Everything is a rush. I feel behind in all directions. Whether it be behind with the making breakfast and packing lunchboxes, or behind with the tick list of life’s to-do’s. Absurdly, because I’m so afraid of being late, I now run chronically early. But even this eats the precious minutes of time and renders me inactive in the run-up to appointments instead.

The pressure to achieve, all on a timeline. Become successful, on time. Have a career, buy a house, get married, have kids! Tick tock, tick tock! The approach to my thirties filled me with a dread hard to quantify. I made some questionable life choices due to the rapidly running sand timer that was my fertility. In my forties, I decided I wanted hobbies. I started to resent the time that adulting took away from…