Maybe Mindfulness Doesn’t Matter, After All
A quest to focus on the present reunited me with my past.
I don’t appreciate the present moment often enough. Or not at all, really. That whooshing sound you just heard was my life flying past while I was distracted by something meaningless. I’ve looked for solutions. The internet told me I needed to improve my mindfulness, so I subscribed to one of the popular meditation apps.
Meditation did help in some aspects of my life. Two years ago, I had a minor health scare. I was so nervous while sitting in the specialist’s waiting room that I was worried the receptionist could hear my heart pounding in my chest. I used meditation techniques to calm myself; my blood pressure and heart rate were almost normal when the nurse measured them.
However, the one skill I still lack from my mindfulness meditation practice is… mindfulness.
When I was about ten years old, my family made plans to visit some distant relatives. I didn’t like going to their house, so I pouted in my bedroom. I remember my dad came into my room, put his arm around me, and said, sometimes, we have to do things we don’t want to do.
I’m sure my dad doesn’t even remember this, but forty years later, this tiny memory still makes enduring undesirable situations easier…
