Men’s Dating App One-Liners, Loosely Translated
If his bio says ‘No baggage,’ it means ‘My ex-wife took all of our suitcases’
--
What a man’s dating profile says can be very different from what it actually means. So here’s a guide to better understand the common, recycled lines seen on dating apps, while endlessly swiping for a coveted “partner in crime.”
I love whiskey.
Confirmed: I am a man.
Not my baby in the pic.
I don’t even know this baby. Who the hell is this child?
Just looking for something casual.
Please send me a link to a nice Gap V-neck tee.
No hookups.
I will literally have sex with you under any circumstances.
Hi.
I will literally have sex with you under any circumstances.
Just here to make friends.
I will literally have sex with you under any circumstances.
New in town, show me around.
For no money, can you drive me through the city on a double-decker bus, point out 4–6 landmarks, and have sex with me? (I will leave a Yelp review.)
Political views: moderate.
I am socially liberal, but fiscally an asshole.
We won’t work out if you don’t workout.
It’d be ideal if you were just a protein shake stacked on top of a barbell.
Looking for a partner in crime.
Be the Bonnie to my Clyde! (Bonnie and Clyde are my pet rabbits who have never been in trouble with the law.)
Outdoors > indoors.
Currently dangling from a cliff, can someone send help?
I’m actually older than my profile indicates.
I have Boomer tendencies, and therefore, have no idea how to change my age.
