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#MeToo and the Myth of Millennial Fragility
How a movement to call out abusers became a debate about sexual agency
My first real use-case for the internet was asking Jeeves how to give a blow job. For those who have no bells ringing, Ask Jeeves was the Google of the ’90s. Back then, it was far too abstract to search for something on the “internet”—what even was the internet? Far better to ask a specific entity a specific question, even if that entity was an embarrassingly inefficient search engine with a curious name and a dopey cartoon mascot.
Born in 1982, I sit right on the cusp of Gen X and millennial—an X-ennial, if we’re being precise. Technology didn’t shape my coming of age, but it came close enough that I understand how it could have. And so I sit right on the fault line of a generational debate that has been bubbling with increasing frequency in the age of #MeToo. While millennial women are calling out men louder than ever, scrutinizing even the most minor of missteps, an increasing number of Gen Xers look on from the sidelines, aghast that women have become so fragile.
In the urban feminist circles I’m most familiar with, it usually starts with a shared sense of outrage, awe at the brazen ubiquity of sleaze. But when it comes to specifics around sexual assault, things inevitably slink into grayer terrain—maybe a guy inappropriately placed his hand on a woman during a date, maybe a celebrity made an objectifying comment in an interview. Not ideal, but not illegal either.
From there, things splinter.
“Women should just tell men to stop,” someone, older than me, will say with a shrug of her shoulder, so ready to move on to the next topic she’s nearly hopping out of her seat.
Every point I understand; every counterpoint I concede.
Another woman, younger than me, will look as if she’s seen a ghost. “Like saying ‘stop’ is ever that easy,” she’ll shout between a tight, practiced smile. If the wine is flowing, so will the buzzwords. “It’s impossible for women to say—or even know—what we want when internalized misogyny and patriarchy run rampant.”
The older woman follows with a pained effort not to roll her eyes. To imply that a…
