Milestones My Boyfriend and I Have Passed Except He Still Hasn’t Said He Loves Me

An incomplete list of moments that may or may not lead to “I love you”

  • We have met one another’s parents.
  • We have taken multiple road trips.
  • We know one another’s friends.
  • We even share some friends!
  • We have friends we made together who know us both equally!
  • I spent a major holiday at his mother’s house.
  • He was invited to spend a major holiday at my mother’s house.
  • He knows that I like whiskey drinks.
  • I know that he likes whiskey drinks, too.
  • He knows that I need an annoying amount of attention.
  • I know that he needs some kind of sweet before bed because that’s what he’s like and if he doesn’t have one he will just keep thinking about it so it’s best to keep chocolate around the apartment.
  • We have favorite TV shows to watch together.
  • It would be a betrayal to watch our favorite TV shows solo, and so we wait to watch them together.
  • He is a sucker for a porter or stout beer with names like Christmas desserts.
  • I know that his feet get really cold and so he needs slippers or socks but if you turn the heat on too high he turns into a grumpy old man/troll.
  • We have our own sides of the bed.
  • One time I wanted to get rid of my gum and he let me spit it out into his hand.
  • One time he got hit by a car and subsequently arrested for an unpaid ticket and he had to go to jail about it for a day and I was his one phone call.
  • He was fine in jail and I met his mom because I had to tell her that he was fine. That’s how I met his mom.
  • Sometimes he walks my dog for me.
  • Sometimes my dog likes him more than me.
  • He was cuddling my dog and said “I love you.” To my dog.
  • He said I could put his phone number on my dog’s collar as a second emergency contact.
  • If someone wanted to call someone who loves my dog, they could call either of our numbers, which can be found on my dog’s collar.
  • If someone wanted to call someone who loves me, there would not be a number available to call.
  • He has his own group chat with my best friends and he used it to tell them what he got me for Christmas.
  • He also told my sister what he got me for Christmas.
  • He has everyone’s numbers because we’ve been dating a long time.
  • He got me a blanket with my dog, Hay, on it for Christmas.
  • He got Hay a blanket with me on it for Christmas.
  • His mom sent me Christmas Eve pajamas and they have dogs on them.
  • One time he made me get real quiet to see if I could hear this sound he was hearing and then he farted the loudest fart in the whole world.
  • Once, I popped a zit on his back and then said “the ritual is complete” in a really scary voice and neither of us thought it was that weird.
  • Once, I made him get up in the middle of the night to see if I had a grey hair and he checked and I didn’t and he could’ve been mean about it but he was really nice instead.
  • We’re invited to two weddings. As a couple. The two of us are invited.
  • I watched the Halloween movies with him. He watched the Paddington movies with me.
  • For Halloween, we wore a couple’s costume that no one thought was funny but us.
  • We went as Twitter and Instagram.
  • We have weird voices we do that no one finds funny except us, including a super gross-sounding one where all the “s” sounds are kind of spitty.
  • We’ve been dating for six months!!!
  • SIX.
My best friend, Maggie May, on February 1st, 2019.
  • I chose him as my emergency contact when giving a blood donation and he said that was okay.
  • He made a joke about how my blood donation is probably in some random dude’s boner now and we laughed about it.
  • We send each other memes and funny jokes on Twitter when the other one is in the bathroom for a long time.
  • We were listening to music and he put on “Real Love Baby” by Father John Misty and I thought maybe he was hinting at something but then he put on “Un-Break My Heart” by Toni Braxton.
  • And then the one after that was “Never Had A Dream Come True” by S Club 7.
  • And then the song after that was “Decode” by Paramore, from the Twilight soundtrack.
On January 16th, he posted this photo to his Instagram story. But it was just because he thought it was funny.
  • One time he referred to our relationship as “a situation.” I told him that made it sound like a rash that needed ointment.
  • We paddled with my dog in a canoe to an island called Dog Island and it was really good.
  • There was a mailbox on the island and he wrote a love letter and left it in there. The love letter was to the lake.
  • I signed his birthday card, “with love, Madeleine,” and he signed my Christmas card, “-Rob.” Dash Rob. He dashes me.
  • A month or so later, I signed his Valentine’s Day card, “♥️ Madeleine,” and he signed mine “Rob.” He doesn’t even dash me. He nothings me.
  • We cowrote a Medium piece.
  • One time my roommate, Brigette, said, “I’m going to bed! Love you guys!” And I said, “Love you, Brige!” and then Rob went, “Love you, Brige!”
  • Anyway, I told him all about my dead dad.
  • He told me everything he told his therapist.
  • We know a lot of one another’s secrets.
  • We know a lot of one another’s hopes and dreams.
  • When we talk about the future we hope the other person will be a part of it.
  • I think that I’m so in love with him.

He still hasn’t said he loves me though.*

*As of March 19th, I am finally a loved person. We have dated eight months. Now that I am loved I think it is acceptable to post this list. Thank you for all your support, it’s an honor just to be nominated.

The New York Post calls me “Brooklyn Woman.” “A Twitter User.” –AMNY “Concerned Citizen.” –NY1. “⭐️⭐️” –My boyfriend

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