My 20s Have Been My “Almost” Decade
Coming to terms with the term
Almost: it’s not a word you’d want to use when describing a decade, yet here I am, tethered to it. My twenties have been a constant balancing act on the edge of something significant — a job, a relationship, a version of myself I thought I’d become. Close enough to taste it, but not enough to claim it. Almost feels like a quiet betrayal by time.
When I was younger, my twenties looked like this shimmering landscape of certainty: the job I’d love, the partner I’d adore, the dreams I’d tick off like items on a grocery list. I thought I’d arrive at adulthood like it was a destination. But I didn’t realize that adulthood isn’t somewhere you arrive. It’s something that unravels, sometimes painfully, in small, imperceptible steps. It’s missed calls, rerouted plans, and doors that feel like they’re perpetually half-open.
At times, I’ve almost convinced myself this is normal. I’ve almost bought into the idea that stumbling and waiting are rites of passage. Almost is where so many of us quietly live, caught between our potential and the pressure to live up to it. And yet, we rarely talk about it. Because who wants to admit they’re stuck in the in-between?
There have been nights where “almost” felt unbearable — like I was one rejection, one failure, one wrong turn away from crumbling. I’ve almost given up more times than I can count. On myself. On people I love. On the dream of “more.” But then, in the same breath, I’ve almost broken through. A job that didn’t work out led me to skills I didn’t know I had. A failed relationship taught me what boundaries feel like when they’re finally respected.
It’s strange how “almost” can shape you if you let it. There’s a sharpness in the word, an ache, but also a quiet resilience. You learn to keep trying, not because you know success is guaranteed, but because you understand failure is just another way of saying, “not yet.”
In many ways, “almost” forces you to redefine what success even means. Maybe it’s no longer the job or the partner or the checklist of things society tells you to want. Maybe success is found in the trying, in the lessons buried under every “almost.” I’m learning to make peace with the pauses, the not-yet moments, and the way my twenties have stretched me in directions I never anticipated.
They say your twenties are for figuring things out, but what they don’t tell you is how much of that process is spent feeling like you’re constantly catching up. Like everyone else is sprinting while you’re just trying to keep your shoelaces tied. Social media makes it worse. It’s all shiny promotions, perfect weddings, and dream homes, making your “almost” feel even more inadequate.
But I’ve started to see it differently. Maybe “almost” isn’t a failure. Maybe it’s a reminder that life isn’t meant to be tidy. That the things worth having often take longer to find. And maybe the most honest thing I can say about my twenties is this: they’ve been messy, painful, and full of moments where I felt like I was falling short. But they’ve also been mine. And I’m not sure I’d trade them, even if I could.
So, if I had to sum up my twenties in one word, it’d still be “almost.” But I’m learning that “almost” doesn’t have to be a dead end. Sometimes, it’s a beginning.
