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My Child Is Not a ‘Bad Kid’
ADHD makes school difficult for my son — but adults shaming and excluding him because of it is its own challenge
When my son was four years old, he had a hard time sitting still. He was impulsive, emotional, and challenging. Preschool was, to put it mildly, HELL. The evil, preschool director had a life-sized likeness of my son on her wall with the words “MOST WANTED” printed below — or at least it felt that way.
One day, the director called me into her office and told me that Boy needed HELP and that he wouldn’t have ANY FRIENDS and that other kids WON’T LIKE HIM because he was a rotten, worthless little boy. Okay, she didn’t say he was rotten or worthless but she did say he was TROUBLE, and she clearly felt I was either in denial or didn’t care, neither of which was true.
The real truth was that I felt responsible, and blamed, and confused. Also scared, angry, and defensive, but mostly desperate. The truth was: I needed help.
I knew Boy had trouble controlling himself and needed support, but I didn’t know where to get it. The preschool director didn’t want to help me. She wanted to blame me, and I already blamed myself. Finger-pointing is actually not a helpful strategy for a child, his parents, or the situation. What I needed was assistance and…
