No One Believes That I’m Japanese
Mixed race people don’t often get the acceptance that everyone else takes for granted
I knew when I started my degree in Japanese and International Relations that I would spend a year in Japan. Although I didn’t grow up speaking my father’s native tongue, I still imagined that as soon as I landed, fluent Japanese would flow from my mouth. Sadly, that’s quite far from the truth. For me, as someone caught between being Japanese and British, returning to my father’s homeland has been a complex and challenging experience.
While the friends I’ve made have blissfully enjoyed Tokyo’s many thrills and sights, my identity issues have bubbled up to the surface. This is not to say that I haven’t enjoyed my time here. I’ve spent endless nights singing my heart out in karaoke bars, dancing underneath the pulsating lights of Tokyo nightclubs, and tucking into food that sizzles off my tongue. However, I don’t have the privileged ignorance of viewing Japan as a complete outsider. Even though my father is Japanese, I am not proficient in the language or the cultural customs. I am someone halfway (or ha-fu [ハーフ], as they say in Japan).
Even among the other half-Japanese people I’ve met here, I feel like an outsider. Every time I hear them launch into fluent Japanese, I feel ashamed. Whenever I…
