On Being Allergic To Bullshit
Ryan O’Connell
Recently I went to a psychic who couldn’t see two feet in front of her, let alone into the future. She told me things like, “You need to to drink more water!” (k) and that my spirit guides were laughing (about what, babe? Do tell!). However, she did say one thing to me right off the bat that rang true. She looked at me and said, “You don’t suffer fools easily, do you?”
I thought about it. Then, as she aligned my chakras, I thought about it some more. She was right. I don’t suffer fools easily. In fact, I am, and always have been, allergic to bullshit. One of my biggest pet peeves is when people behave badly and get away with it. And in my friendships I’ve been known to be somewhat confrontational because I don’t like any elephants in the room. Not even cute baby ones.
In the last year or two, I’ve learned to rely on my intuition. If someone or something gives me weird vibes, consider me gone girl. This attitude may seem like “No shit” to a lot of you but you’d be surprised by how many people are served plates of BS and eat it up ravenously. They don’t speak their mind; they live in denial and pretend everything is fine. It’s insane to me. Why can’t everyone just stop acting so sketchy and start getting REAL? (The Real World: Your Brain!)
I don’t know why I’ve always been obsessed with honesty. My mom’s side of the family prefers to keep things on a pure surface-level. They like to talk about the weather and Oprah and which relative is quietly gaining weight but OMG, no judgment! Then, on holidays, my mom and her siblings will get into legitimate fights over who ate the last piece of chocolate from See’s Candies. Relationships will be destroyed over a milk Bordeaux. Meanwhile, I’m sitting there, thinking, “Is this really a fight about creamy brown sugar covered in milk chocolate or is it more about the deep-seated resentments that are slowly poisoning you?”
When I was 22, things reached a boiling point when my whole family went to my uncle’s house in Palm Springs for Christmas. Everyone was acting so passive-aggressive and the vibe was incredibly tense. Finally, I just burst into tears and yelled, “WHY DOESN’T ANYONE IN THIS FAMILY TALK ABOUT THEIR ISSUES WITH EACH OTHER?!”
Big mistake. My uncle immediately went into a rage blackout, screamed obscenities at us, and threw us out of his house in the middle of the night. LOL. I realized then that the dynamics of family are too etched in stone to ever change.
For the last two years, I’ve had the privilege of writing for television in Los Angeles. This is my dream job, something I’ve always been aspired to do, and I still can’t believe I get to do it. That being said, working in Hollywood can be cray. There’s a lot of social politics, competition, and egomaniacs in power. I’ve been #blessed to have worked with amazing people and avoided any kind of old-school hierarchy/misogyny in a writer’s room. But still, you can’t avoid the psychos. They’re everywhere. They’re at your generals, in your Uber, at a gross party in Hollywood with an open bar. And one thing ~~~~the biz~~~ does not value is transparency. No sir. It’s all about giving a smile that could be also used as a knife.
I just don’t get the need to pretend. About anything. In my eyes, honesty gives you power. And it’s sad that something like telling the truth can be perceived as progressive. “I love your voice,” someone will tell me. “You just tell it like it is, which is sooo refreshing!!!”
“Yes, and why don’t you…tell it like it is?” I want to respond. Why is it so scandalous when you just say what is happening in front of you? Why do people insist on being fake? When did that become the norm? I just don’t get it. If more people told the truth, there’d be a hell of a lot of less shame and feelings of inadequacy happening. And, yes, when you live your life being allergic to bullshit, you’re bound to break out in hives but it’s better than walking around every day all day looking like you’re holding in a giant dump.
Ryan is a writer for MTV’s Awkward and also wrote a book called I’m Special. He likes watching YouTube videos of Mary-Kate Olsen trying to speak.
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