This Is Us

Parental Wrongs

Straight parents treat queer kids like property. Queer people are forbidden to parent. Is there a world beyond the violence of family?

Jude Ellison S. Doyle
Human Parts
Published in
13 min readFeb 6, 2023

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A bunch of hands placed together, palm-out, with a heart drawn on them in dripping blood-red paint. This is way more sinister than the photographers were envisioning.
It’s blood!!!! Photo by Tim Marshall on Unsplash

A memory: One day, when I was about four years old, my father broke into our apartment.

My mother had run away from him. She had crossed several state lines in the process. Then he showed up: Banging through the screen door, screaming. In the memory, my mother reaches for the phone to call the police. He rips the phone out of the wall.

I don’t know what I’m feeling, in this memory, but I’m clinging to my father’s pant leg. I haven’t seen him in so long. I’ve missed him. I’ve been having nightmares where my mother disappears, or where a flood comes into the house and sweeps me away to where no-one can find me. Losing my father is why I have those nightmares. Maybe, on some level, I’m happy to see him. I don’t know. Maybe he is the flood.

The memory splits here, like a cut in a movie. It must have been a neighbor who called the police, because when the action starts again, a police officer is talking to my father in the parking lot of the apartment building. The police officer, who has been called to save my mother, picks me up and puts me in my father’s arms.

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Jude Ellison S. Doyle
Jude Ellison S. Doyle

Written by Jude Ellison S. Doyle

Author of “Trainwreck” (Melville House, ‘16) and “Dead Blondes and Bad Mothers” (Melville House, ‘19). Columns published far and wide across the Internet.

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