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Quiet Aches That Happen in Your Thirties
Silent, heavy burdens no one admits.
I never thought our friendship would end. We had met in college. Though I lived on the other side of the world, I implicitly thought we’d be friends forever. Then I found out he got married. He had neither told nor invited me.
I’m 35 now, so we had spent roughly half our lives as friends, or so I thought. But in reality, a friendship had ended — not with a fight, but with a slow, quiet drifting apart, which ironically felt more hard-hitting.
Your thirties are weird. You can’t relate to who you were just a few short years ago. Marquee moments of others become a reflection of your own life choices, goals, and dreams. You hold a newborn with a heart swelling with joy and a head full of questions you dare not ask aloud. Do I want kids? Can I have kids? Will I regret having them or not having them? Does anyone know what they’re doing?
You celebrate your friend’s engagement. You’re happy for them, of course, whilst wondering if it will happen to you. You assumed you’d have a loving partner by now. You hope it’s out there waiting for you.
You watch people a decade younger than you build the life you had once dreamed of. Social media does little to help. You’re still searching for your next step. Meanwhile, people are…
