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This Is Us
On Queer Families and Raising Ourselves
To be queer is to have a chosen family — and decide for ourselves what that means
It is a hot summer night in August. The kind of night where you think you might be able to catch the air with your hands it hangs so heavy and thick. The sound of pans and dishes clanging in the background is our soundtrack. There is a big, rectangular dining room table surrounded by benches, cushions, and pillows. There are platters of food fresh from the grill.
One of us is pouring and making drinks. One of us is telling a story. One of us is finalizing the dinner prep. You get the idea. On first glance, this might look like any ordinary Sunday night family dinner. There are remnants of toys and paperwork in the kitchen. The dog sniffs about, looking for scraps of food from dinner prep. But this is special. This is a hard-won pod. This is the thing that no one taught us we could have when we were younger. This is safety, laughter (so much laughter), love, and trust. This is queer family.
You see, in queerness there is always an element of raising yourself. We have to leave home to seek communities in which we can fully be seen and understood. We seek to build and to be community for one another in particular ways. Chosen family has long been a core and essential piece of…
