Mental Health and Wellbeing

Running for My Life: A Journey from Breakdown to Breakthrough

The Slow, Steady Trail to Healing and Change

Ain’t no demons entered in my first ever race. If there were, I’d totally kick their asses. Photo by Michal Brown Photography, 2023.

I’m running for my life.

And that is no exaggeration.

Two years ago, I woke up 40 lbs over my fighting weight. And it scared the living shit out of me. I knew what middle age, a sedentary lifestyle, buckets of stress, and a growing midsection added up to. I vowed then and there to get myself on a healthy path. And I did. For a while. Kind of. My weight trickled down a bit. But my overall health? Not so much.

One morning, a few months later, I woke up to find that the person formerly known as me had left the building. He left behind his body and the worries that weighed it down. To tell you the truth, the body was in pretty rough shape. And vows alone sure weren’t going to bring him back.

Oh, I know why he had gotten the heck out of Dodge. Buddy left his fears behind to remind me. Fears and a whole whack of demons who were now howling for my head. Thanks, man. Thanks a lot.

I awoke one sleepless morning…and found I couldn’t move. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t stop crying, shaking, clenching, wincing…