Member-only story
Mental Health and Wellbeing
Running for My Life: A Journey from Breakdown to Breakthrough
The Slow, Steady Trail to Healing and Change
I’m running for my life.
And that is no exaggeration.
Two years ago, I woke up 40 lbs over my fighting weight. And it scared the living shit out of me. I knew what middle age, a sedentary lifestyle, buckets of stress, and a growing midsection added up to. I vowed then and there to get myself on a healthy path. And I did. For a while. Kind of. My weight trickled down a bit. But my overall health? Not so much.
One morning, a few months later, I woke up to find that the person formerly known as me had left the building. He left behind his body and the worries that weighed it down. To tell you the truth, the body was in pretty rough shape. And vows alone sure weren’t going to bring him back.
Oh, I know why he had gotten the heck out of Dodge. Buddy left his fears behind to remind me. Fears and a whole whack of demons who were now howling for my head. Thanks, man. Thanks a lot.
I awoke one sleepless morning…and found I couldn’t move. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t stop crying, shaking, clenching, wincing from the shrieking winds that were tearing through my brain and tattering what was left of my resiliency and resolve.
So I ran too. I friggin’ booked it. Demons hot on my tail, I hit the trail up the road from me and didn’t look back. Three minutes and twenty-five seconds later, I pulled up, gasping for air. Funnily enough, running like crazy didn’t come as easy as it used to.
But at least the demons hadn’t caught up. Not that far behind, but not breathing down my neck either. The demons, very much like me, were not exactly the fastest mice in all of Mexico. (Does anyone even know Speedy Gonzales anymore?)
I soon realized that if I mixed a little running with some fast walking, I could keep them at bay. So slowly, but steadily, five days a week, I began walking, with intermittent jogs, for my life. And as I did, I could…
