Shattered — A Bestie Story of Love & Friendship
The strong, sicky sweet smell of lilies never fails to riot my belly. When I breathe them in, transported back to your service, scores of memories tear a path up from my heart to my brain.
Even now, I miss you with a fierceness that makes me want to jump into the afterlife and beat the crap out of you for leaving.
Rational? No.
No, but if there is one thing I’ve learned, it’s that grief isn’t rational, nor delicate. It’s snot-slinging, messy, headache and heartache, forgetting to eat, not caring about anything through a pain moment of years that binds trauma and emotions to… well, everything.
When the cancer was first diagnosed, I felt like it was a big joke, someone would jump out from behind the proverbial curtain and say “HA just kidding. I won’t take her. She’s too precious to many people. Her light can’t be dimmed. It’s just the way it is. She is so much more than this stupid disease.”
Watching you waste away eight years ago with double pneumonia — as a result of chemo — and on a ventilator made no sense. Four days after your getting off the ventilator, and my family moved across the…
