Mind Games

Taking off the Rosé-Colored Sunglasses

How alcohol distracted me from living the life I really wanted

Lisa Marie Rankin
Human Parts
Published in
9 min readJun 23, 2020

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Photo: Iamdogjunkie/Flickr

Several years ago, I went to a live comedy show with some women from work. The name of the show was I Mom So Hard. Apparently, it was a YouTube sensation. Though I had no idea what to expect, I was looking forward to a night out with my smart and engaging colleagues. We piled into the Boston venue with other groups of women eager to enjoy a night out with their friends. It looked like the show was sold out.

For two hours, the comediennes stood on stage complaining about their marriage, children, sex life, and bodies all while drinking wine straight from the bottle. The almost all-female audience roared with laughter. Everyone had drinks in their hands, and there were more on the way. Not a glass was empty. While the evening began with cheer and levity, I became increasingly perplexed by the laughter of the crowd as the comediennes seemed to suggest it was possible to mask an unfulfilling life by drinking copious amounts of pinot noir.

I was confused as to why so many women were coming together to celebrate bad sex, unfulfilling relationships, and unhealthy bodies. “Where is the humor in this?” I tried asking myself. Wouldn’t it have been better to come together to share stories of passionate nights, healing journeys, thriving relationships, and the joys and challenges of motherhood? When one of the comediennes joked about having sex with her husband once a year on his birthday, I cringed. I didn’t feel like laughing. I wanted to offer my condolences.

I became horrified. Not because I didn’t drink alcohol but because I did — every single day. I was like Ebenezer Scrooge getting a visit from the ghost of habitual drinking. “Is this my future?” I thought to myself. Or even more alarming, “Is this my present?” Though I didn’t drink excessively, I drank habitually. Let’s just say alcohol was part of my daily routine, sort of like brushing my teeth.

I began to drink when I was 16. Even though I often got sick, I was determined to persevere, knowing that alcohol would someday become a loyal friend. Eventually, I would pride myself on being 110 pounds soaking wet and “able to keep up with the best of them.” It’s…

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Lisa Marie Rankin
Human Parts

Heal your body and enliven your spirit through Divine Feminine practices and principles to thrive in all realms of life. lisamarierankin.com/waitlist-enlivened