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The 33 Stages of Listening to the Song Your Ex Wrote About You
They can’t all be “thank u, next”
The immediate, involuntary reaction is to play it between four and 32 times. Send it to your friends. Attempt to find the lyrics — a feature SoundCloud should really have, tbh.
All so you’re SURE. That it’s your ex, singing words they wrote, about you. That, yes, this is happening, and it’s happening now, and you better figure out what you want to do and how you want to react.
Which starts with concluding, in rapid succession:
- Yup, it’s definitely about you.
2. Nonono. You’re being neurotic, self-involved, and crazy — even more than usual — and it’s definitely not about you.
3. You play it one more time, because that 33rd time will definitely be the one where he pauses mid-song and confirms, “Sasha, I wrote this song about you.”
4. Oh. Yeah. It’s definitely about you.
Our first defense, Denial, that blissful ignorance — never lasts long enough, does it?
We take a risk, those of us who make the bold decision to date an artist. We know that one day — inevitably, and without doubt or hesitation — we will become Subject. Subject to authorship, to melody, to essay and paint. Subject…
