The Art of Being Alone in a Crowd (On Purpose)
When it comes to flying solo, there’s nothing to be ashamed about
The first time I went to a concert by myself was in November 2014. The band was Jamestown Revival, a fantastic but then-mostly unknown country/folk duo from Texas. I was already a fan, but no one I knew in New York was interested enough to join me for an 8 p.m. show on a chilly Monday night. So I bought a single ticket, and as my co-workers began their commutes home, headed downtown to Bowery Ballroom. I grabbed a draft beer at the bar, found a spot a few rows back from the stage, and scrolled through my phone until the band came on.
Once the music started, I became immersed in the performance on a level I’d rarely experienced before. Without the distraction of friends making small talk, taking photos and videos on their phones, or asking me to hold their spots while they got refills or took bathroom breaks, my every sense was heightened: The harmonies were richer, the rhythms livelier, and the lyrics resonated more deeply. It felt transcendent.
Afterward, as I stepped out into the crisp autumn air, I wondered: Why hadn’t I ever done this before?
Cultural norms teach us to feel uncomfortable going alone to certain public places: restaurants, movie theaters, concerts, etc…
