This Is Us
The Art of Being Useless
How can I ever be an adequate contributor to this family if I can’t even buy a damn dishwasher?
I’ve always admired handy people: people who can build things or weld things or do under-the-hood things. I’m not a handy person and most would say that I’m downright useless when it comes to completing even the simplest of home repairs.
I think it’s in my genes. My mother used to say my father had “feet for hands” and told tales about how he almost set the house on fire while changing a fuse. Because of this, he was always outsourcing projects elsewhere — minor plumbing issues, lawn mowing, driveway repaving, oil changes. I made a mental note and swore that I’d break the chain in the same way a scrappy teen born into a legacy of high school dropouts would vow to be the first to graduate college. I will be the first Daulerio to change a tire without slicing open my hand.
It never happened. I’ve still never changed a tire; neither have I mowed a lawn. It once took me six hours to put together a Little Tikes Cottage for my children and I couldn’t get the roof to lay flush. Is that what you say — lay flush?
I am my father’s son.
