The Blood Messenger
Wanting to have another baby, and bleeding instead
Before I started bleeding incessantly, I’d never heard of fibroids.
“Woah, check this out!” I’d say to my husband as we got ready in our shared bathroom, pointing to the bloodbath from my period in the bottom of the shower.
I found it strangely fascinating to watch the bright red blood, full of large clots, as it swirled down the drain. Bodily, visceral and intense, I took the role of a morbid observer without really questioning if it was a problem. The clots reminded me of pieces of liver, something animal and innate.
“Is that normal?” he asked one day, alarmed at how much blood there was. We’ve been together for 12 years. He’s seen periods before, but this was the first time he was worried.
I didn’t really know if it was normal. My bleeding had definitely increased, but I assumed it was part of getting older. I thought that maybe my body had changed after having kids.
My periods had been more-or-less regular since they started when I was 13. I’d never thought much of them other than that they came with painful cramps and messed up my mood.
