The Celebration of the New and the Ends

Cheese, blondes, and microdoses of acid

Photo by author.

2024 was just like being three thousand million meters deep into the fire. My eyebrows curled, and the smoke pervaded. As they say with hopeful logic, the new year can only be better.

I guess New Year celebrations are supposed to launch that thought, but early celebrations are never a good idea. Better not rejoice before the wind changes. I’m a careful pessimist — I’ve always been. That’s probably why I don’t like New Year parties. This year I made an exception for my sisters. We celebrated — with wine, cheese, cold cuts, and gherkins. There were people too, lots of blondes.

As we arrived inside a wooden room near a lake, the tallest of the blondes with a superhuman wide bones-type physique coated in sequins looked around and screamed “Female hormones abound!” I tried to hide my smirk — the strong testosterone lady established a good balance.
A skinny princess dressed in a long white woollen dress with the thickest and most beautiful blonde hair made my balding sister jealous. “Uggh look at this girl, she’s got so much hair!”

I strategized for ways to outdo the competition — no one could be prettier than my blood. Someone made a joke I didn’t hear, one of the blondes jumped like a kangaroo and pushed one of…