The Fire Within Me
Finding light in the darkest hours
In the deepest depths of my soul, concealed by doubt’s shroud,
A fierce flame ignites, a blaze untamed and proud.
It roars with a passion, it yearns to break free,
This burning fire inside, it’s the truest part of me.No ordinary spark, it’s a force beyond compare,
It beckons me to rise, to soar through the open air.
With strength to conquer mediocrity’s gloom,
This blazing fire within, it shall be my life’s sweet perfume.Through the blackest of nights, it’s a guiding light so bright,
I’ll chase the stars and dreams, reach astonishing heights.
Unfettered, unyielding, it’s my source of endless might,
This relentless, burning fire, it shall guide me through the fight.In the darkest corners of my soul, this fervent fire I decree,
A beacon of hope and strength, forever lighting my way, you see,
It’s not just a fire; it’s my unwavering destiny,
This eternal, blazing fire within me.
I remember a time when I was ignorant to the fire within me. I existed in a haze of routine, navigating the mundane, and walking through life with my eyes half-closed. But then, the universe shook me awake. It was a wake-up call that left me with the realization that life is fleeting, that opportunities slip through our fingers like sand, and that the fire within must not be silenced any longer.
For me, the awakening came in the form of a tragedy - My father, a pillar of our family, succumbed to illness. He was in his forties, a time when life should have been at its zenith, and yet, a damaged aortic valve threatened to cut his journey short. He needed immediate open-heart surgery for a valve replacement, and the urgency of the situation weighed heavily upon us.
Desperation knew no bounds as we drained every penny of our meager savings to finance his operation, praying for a miracle that would never come. The pain of his loss cut deeper than any blade, leaving scars that would forever mark my soul.
The aftermath was a bleak canvas painted with despair. Our savings had vanished like vapor, and we found ourselves drowning in debt. The place I called home was a cramped, old apartment in a building that had weathered more than half a century of monsoons and Mumbai's relentless storms. The leaky roof and creaking walls were witnesses to the countless sleepless nights my family endured.
In those trying times, depression became a relentless and unwelcome companion, a phantom that descended upon me like a heavy cloud, casting a pall of hopelessness over my days. It whispered insidiously in my ear, trying to persuade me to surrender to the darkness that threatened to engulf me. But I couldn't surrender to the darkness, for I had the fire within me, waiting to be set ablaze.
At sixteen, with no financial cushion to rely upon, I found myself shouldering the burden of an adult, working alongside people twice my age to support my education and to help my mother, not out of choice but out of necessity.
I joined a Bhangra dance troupe, a vibrant and colorful ensemble that performed at events, particularly weddings. This world was far removed from the quiet routines of academia, and yet, it became the stage upon which I would dance my way to a brighter future.
I was not just working for my own dreams; I was working to fulfill the dreams my father had for me, an aspiration that I, his child, should break the chain of mediocrity that had bound our family for generations.
He saw in me the potential to become an engineer, an educated individual who could reach new heights to secure a brighter future. These dreams were the fuel that stoked the fire within me, and they became my guiding light through the darkest of nights.
Education was my ticket out of the darkness and I refused to waste the opportunity it presented. So, I juggled work and education, sacrificing sleep and leisure for the pursuit of a brighter future. The fire within me eliminated my doubts, overcame my fears, and shaped me into a determined force. Failure was not an option; it was simply a step toward success. With each passing day, the fire within me fueled my ambition.
It was not an easy path. The fire within me served as a constant reminder of the responsibility I bore, the weight of expectations, and the promise of a better life. It was a fire that demanded commitment, that refused to be extinguished by the challenges of my journey.
And so, I persevered, with each step, I could feel the fire within me challenging the odds, defying the limitations imposed by circumstance and society.
My journey was marked not only by personal aspirations but also by the ever-present pressure of external voices, which included relatives and even some members of the Bhangra dance troupe I worked with. They couldn't always comprehend the balancing act I was performing, trying to juggle my education and part-time work.
Their well-meaning advice often created a storm of doubt within me. I wrestled with the idea of temporarily stepping away from my studies in order to put all my energy into dancing. This path was a semblance of financial stability in the short term.
Despite these external pressures, I remained steadfast. The fire within me burned even brighter in the face of such discouragement. I believed that by continuing my education, I was not just investing in myself but also building a foundation that would ultimately uplift my family.
While I may not have scored the highest marks or topped any exams, I was committed to understanding the practical aspects of engineering, even if it meant learning through dedication rather than pure academic brilliance.
It was not about being the best student in the classroom; it was about becoming a student of life, eager to absorb every lesson that came my way.
Finally, after 5 years, the day arrived when I completed my engineering degree. It was a moment of immense pride and joy. It was not just a piece of paper but a symbol of my pursuit of knowledge and my spirit. Upon graduation, I embarked on the next chapter of my journey, securing my first job as an engineer.
This milestone marked the transition from the realm of academia to the practical world of industry. I may not have been an instant millionaire, but that was never the goal. Instead, the job provided me with a stable income and a sense of financial security that was enough to change the trajectory of my family's life.
My newfound employment meant that we could be free from the suffocating grip of financial hardship that had been a constant companion for far too long. It meant that I could support my mother and provide her with the comfort and stability she so rightfully deserved. It meant that the dreams my father had for me were one step closer to realization.
This moment in my life was not just about personal success; it was about a promise fulfilled.
I share this personal story with you not for sympathy or praise but to remind you about the power of the fire within each of us. It is a reminder that no matter the depths of despair, no matter the magnitude of obstacles, we carry within us a force that can reshape our destinies.
So, I implore you, in this very moment, to search your own soul. What is the fire within you, waiting to be awakened? What dreams lie dormant, yearning for the spark of your determination? Do not let adversity dampen your flames; let it fuel them.
Embrace the fire within you, for it is the forge where resilience is born, where dreams are forged into reality, and where the fiercest battles are won.
The fire within you is your power. Ignite it, and let it consume you, for in its blazing wake, you will find a life forged from the ashes of adversity, illuminated by the unwavering light of your determination.
