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The Gestation Period for a Man on his Own
I’ve never embraced the traditional couple form, but I’ve always wanted a family
It’s the day before the due date, and I’m ready. I’ve got all the stuff. I’ve checked lists, confirmed my supplies with external experts, and established an orderly structure in a few storage bins. I’m ready. I’ve prepared for mountaineering expeditions and I’ve moved abroad multiple times. So far, preparing for a baby’s arrival feels effectively the same. Sometime in the next few days, my son will be born via surrogacy, and I’m ready. And if I keep saying that, it may become true.
Two-and-a-half years ago, on a walk with a few of my oldest, closest friends along a lake in a Northern California forest, one of them asked, “So, are you going to do this or what?” They all knew I’d been thinking about having a child on my own (more on that phrase later) for many years. I was 34 when I first went to a surrogacy website. I had been dating a woman who had two children. It was one of the more serious relationships I’d had, and I ended it partly because I hadn’t yet had a real relationship with a man. I felt that if I were to wind up with a woman, in the long run, I first needed to know what it was like to be with a man.
So I ended that relationship, with more than a little sadness, and wondered if…
