The Girlish Boy: an entity.
The boy who was different, is different, feels feminine yet does not want to undergo flesh transformation, comforted by their unique beauty, in love with their own body. The boy who is a girl and is a boy, undefined and unrestricted, unable to fit a certain mold, unable to be labeled because you cannot categorize him; she does not fit in either a heteronormative society or a homoerotic society. Neither normal nor abnormal want her. Friendships and connections linger and do not last. Men who gave up on her become confused, enough to use her body as a plaything to experiment and disregard, but not enough to fall in love with, to stare directly into her eyes and see the vibrant soul beyond the aging flesh.
She wakes up every morning exhausted, afraid of her life because she is repeating this void of exhaustion; she does not belong. The loneliness presses upon her in her bed, under the comfort of her bed sheets, while her alarm constantly rings; she stares into space. She forces herself out of bed and walks groggily to her mirror to look at the tiresome, lonely figure preparing to fight another day. To get to work and put on a smile for all her peers who need a warm, guiding presence.
After putting on her face, she smiles at the mirror, puts in her earbuds, sprays perfume twice, puts on her dress, shoes, and picks up her work purse, she steps into the world, a mosaic of…
