The Healing Begins When We Lean Into What Feels Good
How moving into my own space helped me find my own joy as a first generation immigrant woman of color
When there’s a full or new moon, I have this ritual. I like to write my intentions in this journal with a silk sari print blue cover. I have entries filled with things I wished to release, like deeply held insecurities. Things I wanted to call into my life, like healing my inner child who was bullied in school. A conscious and healthy romantic partnership. Job opportunities from companies with leadership that cared about anti-racist business practices and centered community care and healing. And a home. I described the space with vivid images: an open, airy room or apartment filled with my books, collected artwork, and crystals with plenty of space to dance and stretch in. With trees facing my windows and singing birds to wake up to. This space would be my anchor. I’d take clients on powerful journeys from this space and host community workshops and healthy communal dinners with loved ones. I’d birth my deepest, most creative thoughts and I would bring all parts of me there safely. And I’d have freedom to move; an easy run to the nearest park or a quick oat milk latte after a nourishing walk. Binge watching shows on Hulu would be allowed in my space, too.
Like many of my intentions, I was able to manifest this one because I trusted it would happen one day. One year ago, I moved out of my family home and into my own little sanctuary in Brooklyn, New York. As I reflect on my journey, the anniversary of my freedom, so much comes up for me. To be clear, I’ve lived in other spaces before, but temporarily. Each of these experiences offered me a glimpse into a life of safety, creativity, abundance, and spirituality. But I was an underearner for most of my adult life; I couldn’t afford to sign a one-year lease for an apartment in New York City until I was 35. My story isn’t just about attempting to live in one of the most expensive cities in the world, though.
My story is about navigating a lifelong journey as a first generation immigrant woman of color who always wanted to make an impact in the world while honoring her needs. Somehow, one goal fed and nourished the other in the most…