The Art of Taking People and Things at Face Value
How trust can help you live authentically and spontaneously
I was sitting in my therapist’s office when I divulged, “I told him I loved him. I couldn’t keep it in any longer.”
“What did he say?” she asked.
“He told me he loved me too,” I replied. “But he had to say something back,” I added. “I don’t know if he really does.”
“Why don’t we take him for his word?” my therapist suggested.
Good idea, I thought. I hadn’t considered that.
It was easier for me to believe that the universe was in on a giant hoax to fool me than to take people for their word.
I’ve always been a bit mistrustful, skeptical. I regularly question others’ intentions. Did she really want to hang out with me, or did she not have anyone else to hang out with? Did my boss really think I was doing a great job, or was she just not paying attention? Even when I submit stories to a publication and the editor says “Great, we’ll publish it next week,” I wonder if she is just being nice. It has always been easier for me to believe that the universe is in on a giant hoax to fool me than to take people at their word.
This persistent skepticism has caused me to play small. I’ve done this to avoid the disappointment I was sure would come once I exposed the “truth.” It manifested as dating men with whom I would easily have the upper hand, resulting in inequitable and unfulfilling relationships, staying in an uninspiring job, and shying away from meeting new friends.
On trusting others
Not trusting others and playing small is the ego’s way of protecting itself. While we may avoid disappointment by going this route, we also stunt our soul growth, as well as limit our intimate connections with others. This is not a great way to live, and definitely not what our higher self would want. Our higher self wants us to accomplish great things, make close connections, and raise the vibrational energy of the world with our love and inspiration. We can’t do this if we’re hiding from disappointment and…