DATING ADVICE
Is She the One?
How will I know if she’s the one?
If you’re asking yourself this question, then it’s safe to assume you’ve met someone you think is amazing. You’re into each other. But there is a lot to consider when choosing the right woman, especially when you’re looking for someone you’ll spend the rest of your life with. Picking the one can get complicated.
Ironically, you must not let your emotions rule your head. Finding the right woman for you may be challenging, so keep your worth in mind.
Be smart and spot red flags in a woman.
She loves you…already? (The Love Bomber)
That fast? No, that can’t be.
Women are known to be meticulous in choosing men. Most tend to be more grounded in their approach when they fall in love.
So if one tries to overwhelm you with emotion during the early stages of getting to know each other, think twice.
You’re either infatuated with each other…or she could be love-bombing you. “Love bombing” may be intentional or unintentional. But it still pays to keep an eye out.
You could spot them because they can appear as
- excessive compliments
- exaggerated idealization of your future
- overcommunication of feelings
- sending you extravagant gifts
She wants to have you in the palm of her hand. You must pay attention because this could be crucial. Relationship experts have pointed out that love bombing is a manipulative tactic often used by narcissists and abusers. The goal is to make you feel dependent on the love bomber.
You have to be careful not to let her charming gestures and sweet words fool you into ignoring her actual intentions.
She tries to control you. (The Manipulator)
Human as we are, we sometimes resort to manipulative tactics to gain something. Usually, it’s harmless. We may put in the occasional extra hours at work to impress the boss, or put on new threads to get attention from our crushes.
But manipulation can easily get excessive, and oftentimes, we are not aware that we’re being led on.
The forms of excessive manipulation might vary. You’d recognize them if your date
- is overly submissive to you
- puts words in your mouth and blames you for the slightest fault
- threatens to leave you if you don’t oblige her whims, or
- turns the tables by portraying a positive image of your relationship in public while acting differently in private.
Once you are caught up in these, she can rule over you and your life.
She’s always pointing fingers. (The Blamer)
Statistically, women are often the victims when romantic relationships turn bad, so hearing them complain and put the blame on men sounds common.
But there are always exceptions.
When a woman constantly blames, unnecessarily criticizes her ex-boyfriend, and withholds her account of events, she’s playing the victim card.
The relentless finger-pointing and criticism can be a reflection of who she is.
Given that some women are incredibly clever, you would need to keep a close eye on these:
- Obsessively argues.
- Focuses on how horrible you are or the other person is.
- Holds grudges against you or another person for no good reason.
- Fabricates reasons to justify her hate.
She blames everyone but herself and her ultimate goal is to keep her hands clean.
Think not twice but thrice on choosing the one.
These signs, by the way, are regardless of gender. But that’s part of the point. These signs might be obvious in men, less so in women. So, again, you need to keep a level head.
If she happens to show these signs, you should reconsider.
But hold on, don’t give up.
Being aware of these factors will help you build and maintain standards for yourself. Save your love for the right one, because she’s out there, waiting for you.
