Internet Time Machine

The One Time I Was (Kind of) Catfished by Two Sisters

‘I hope you don’t get mad,’ she said

Scott Muska
Human Parts
Published in
8 min readMar 15, 2015

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Photo: Edgar Hernández/Unsplash

This story is part of the Internet Time Machine, a collection about life online in the 2010s.

SSuzy messaged me first on OkCupid, which is rare for a guy like me, especially in New York City where it isn’t uncommon for an attractive woman to get upwards of 100 messages in a single day. This means she doesn’t have to do much of the introductory legwork — but my profile will lie dormant for weeks at a time, until I get a mobile notification that a woman has visited me or sent me a note. (I’m too lazy to spend my time trying to sell myself to women with witty messages, especially when I can use that time for stuff like whacking off to porn videos or writing essays about my horrible dating life.)

The conversation started at music, specifically about our mutual adoration for the bands Bright Eyes and Brand New. It progressed to her love of tattoos and goofy hats. We exchanged banter for a few days before she decided to give me her number and take our conversation to the texting realm. This is something I usually take as a sign that she’s open to meeting in real life. We texted some more — I was really piling it on, which some women might construe as over-texting but I was just trying to…

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Scott Muska
Human Parts

I write books (for fun, and you can find them on Amazon), ads (for a living) and some other stuff (that seems to magically show up on the internet).