The Peculiar Loneliness of Parenting an Atypical Child
For outsiders, it’s easy to assume we haven’t tried
We arrive at the beach house at 4 p.m. after a six-hour car ride. We walk in to semi-organized chaos, as the grandparents, aunts, and uncles are already getting ready to head down to the beach to stake out a spot to watch the prolific, awe-inspiring fireworks display that ramps up after dark. Before the tension of a family in a car together for an extended period begins to dissipate, we are being asked when we’re heading down. This is where the dilemma begins.
The fireworks are too much for our 13-year-old son, Sam. Since he got the provisional diagnosis of PDD-NOS at age five, he has grown and changed a lot but he still doesn’t qualify as neurotypical. Some issues have come and gone, such as speech delays and ticks, vocal stimming, and echolalia. The traits and sensitivities that remain are not always apparent to people who don’t spend much time with him, or those who don’t have experience parenting a child who isn’t typical.
My anxiety begins almost immediately. It’s mild, but I don’t spend enough time in close quarters with Scott’s family for it to be nonexistent. I enter into a cycle of irritability, guilt about that irritability, and self-consciousness as we are offered earplugs and noise-cancelling headphones…
