The Radical Initiation of Motherhood
Becoming a mother can be beautiful. It can also be miserable.
The journey to motherhood can be one of the most profoundly sacred experiences a woman can have. It can also be painful, jarring and incredibly lonely. I should know, because I’ve experienced all of it.
I was just shy of my 36th birthday when my daughter was born. Her birth itself was relatively painless — my doctor had recommended an epidural before I even felt much of anything, and I remained completely numb from the waist down throughout the delivery. At the time, this seemed like a very good thing. Why would I possibly want to experience excruciating pain?
What came next, however, was a complete and total shock.
For those who haven’t experienced it, it’s difficult to describe how physically intense childbirth and its aftermath can be. Despite the fact that I hadn’t felt anything during the actual birthing process, I was still completely exhausted by pushing. It was almost 3 a.m. when my daughter arrived, and after being examined and bathed, she promptly fell asleep. My husband and I immediately fell asleep, too — then were jolted awake exactly 45 minutes later when she awoke screaming and hungry, a pattern that would continue for the next several weeks.
