The Subtle Ways Trauma Affects Your Life

And how to start changing it

Kasia Patzelt
Human Parts
Published in
5 min readDec 13, 2019


Photo: Anthony Tran/Unsplash

TTrauma is such a big word. Most people think of war, accidents, violence, and big life-changing tragedies. And those events are traumatic for most people.

(Even though not necessarily so. Because trauma is not about what happens to us but how we deal with it, whether our nervous system was able to discharge the excess energy.)

But for the most part, trauma is a subtle and insidious part of our everyday life. Insidious because we are so used to it that we don’t even know it’s there. And when you don’t know it’s there you don’t do anything about it. Instead, you probably keep looking outside yourself to change the “off” feeling inside, and you very likely judge yourself for feeling and being the way you are.

So before we continue, let’s take the charge out of the word and call trauma “frozen” or “blocked” energy instead. I’m sure most of us can agree that we have some of that.

Here are the ways it may be affecting you:

  • Feelings of separation. Inability to feel fully nourished and loved by others. Not really feeling part of humanity or like you belong on this planet.
  • Confusion, indecision, overwhelm. Inability to know what you want. Feeling stuck and like you’re treading water in life. Mood swings. Neediness.
  • Inability to express yourself and your needs. Always the bystander and observe. Always helping others but building silent resentment inside. Feelings of inferiority.
  • Needing to be the best and unable to tolerate failure. Always talking about yourself and dominating the space in social circumstances. Unable to tune into the needs of others.
  • Always on the go, hyperactive, judgmental, and critical toward self and others. Unable to take time out, have breaks. Life is black and white, and it’s all about performance.

Hang on… aren’t these just normal personality traits?

Yes, they are. And I’m sure that most of us can relate to at least one of these if not all of them to some extent.

Our very personality is formed around the developmental challenges (traumas) that we…



Kasia Patzelt
Human Parts

Embodiment Coach. Here to co-create an Authentic Human Reality.