Lived Through This
The Transgender Talk I Wish I’d Received
Sometimes our greatest advocacy is nothing more or less than living as ourselves
I never got “the talk.”
I’m not talking about my adolescent self, a lifetime ago. (Although the statement nevertheless holds true for my first time going through puberty.) I mean that when I came out as trans, and I decided to undergo hormone replacement therapy, I didn’t know anyone who might be able to sit down with me and chat about what lay ahead. That was part of the excitement and terror of transition — I’d have to learn it by living it.
Most of my friends are cisgender. “I’ll never 100% understand, but I support you,” is a common refrain. And within the conservative confines of Salt Lake City, I mostly meet other trans folks by accident and circumstance. Not to mention I was too afraid to reach out to anyone when I started taking hormones. I didn’t feel valid. I had to hide my identity for so long, and had a man’s appearance for so long, that I feared reaching out would only result in another round of being delegitimized and made invisible. It felt too risky.
I felt like I was drawing my own map.
In a sense, that’s what we all do. Even when I sat down in the doctor’s office for…
