The Truck With Swollen Nuts

Car repair is no joke

Healthy ones… Photo by author

“I just can’t wait to get on the road again.” — Willie Nelson

Looks like some sort of jock strap device could protect a truck’s most important nuts. Something like a metal bowl thingamabob you could snap in place over the entire middle of the wheel. A nut dish, call it, or hub hat, maybe. But that occurred to me only after countless hours of cogitation, not when I really could have used a bit of cleverness. At the time, about all I could manage was laughter and simple questions.

“I’m sorry,” I said into the phone with inflection that conveyed no actual apology, “but do you know how ridiculous this sounds? Are you really telling me my pickup has lug nuts that have swelled and need to be replaced? Those metal nuts that hold the wheels on? The ones made out of metal? Have swelled?”

“That’s right,” he said in a totally serious manner that started me back a-laughing.

I’d dropped off my pickup for a routine oil change and tire rotation under a plan purchased with the used truck from a dealer in another state who assured me the pre-paid servicing would be honored by all the brand’s dealerships. But I soon learned they seldom let you go without trying to sell you something…