Twenty, Married, and Still a Virgin
Growing up an evangelical kept me chaste well into my marriage
Many, many years ago, I was a married woman. It’s been more than 15 years since my wedding day and, in hindsight, yes, I really should have called the whole thing off. But let’s get real — 20-year-olds aren’t exactly known for their wealth of wisdom.
I met my now ex-husband when I was 19, through some college acquaintances. When I first saw J, he was playing bass on stage at a Christian cafe in Southwestern Illinois. He was in a band that was slowly gaining traction in the St. Louis punk scene, and most of the members were my classmates at a Christian liberal arts college.
As I watched him play, the very first thought I had was, “I wonder what kind of girl he’s going to marry.” I felt a spark, rare for me, and it turns out I’m a sucker for those.
When I arrived at college, I was a fish out of water. The year before, I had been working in Texas, in an internship for a pseudo Christian cult called the Honor Academy. It’s not as if I knew it was a cult when I signed up, or even while I was there. I thought I was a part of a Christian ministry that was changing the world. And that’s all I wanted to do.
During my time in the cult, we had to turn in weekly “accountability cards” on…
