SAVE IT FOR AN AGEY DAY
This Year, I’m Turning Younger
The best math I’ve ever done
Early in 2024, a student stared at my face too long and said, “How old are you?”
Before you hear the answer, know this: I’m in mint condition. No nicks, dings, and very little aging. In other words, I was in the mood that day to compliment myself using another person’s voice, so I said, “How old do you think I am?”
Before you hear that answer, I’ll tell you why I’m mint.
I’ve been protecting myself from early-onset aging by avoiding sunlight beneath gigantic, floppy hats and sunscreen for twenty years.
Why?
Because somewhere along the way, three hundred million people told me youth is beauty and beauty is everything.
It is power.
I’m not saying it’s good or right or fair that beauty is so powerful. Like Lyme disease and lime flavored tortilla chips, it just is.
Beauty is a lockpick kit for imprisoned affections. It’s a pair of moon springs for the steps, bottomless cans of easy for the eyes, easy that is also somehow grease for the skids of big dreams and bigger dreams.
Beauty is aerodynamics for your life and a license to speed.
