To All the Asian Men I Never Loved — I’m Sorry
A brutally honest look at my racist biases towards my own race
“I’m just not into Asian guys,” I would say flippantly as I dated my way through the rainbow of white, brown, black, and olive-skinned men.
“I’m not sure why,” I would say.
I may not have known why I didn’t like Asian men, but I did know that my preferences go way back. I recently found a journal entry I wrote as an 8-year-old declaring that I wanted to marry a blue-eyed blond man.
It took me 20 years to finally realize that it wasn’t an “innate” preference. I had been bathed in an infinite number of media sources and cultural innuendos suggesting to me that Asian men were meek, effeminate, and less endowed from the moment I was born.
Asian masculinity? Those two words were simply not used together in my childhood.
Why did it take so long for me to “see?”
Growing up, I could think of zero Hollywood male romantic leads that were Asian. Prior to the blockbuster hit Crazy Rich Asians, Asian actors in Hollywood had one role — to be a token.
Like the stereotypical bridesmaids, Asians were never allowed to be better-looking, richer, or more successful. Smarter, yes…
