Trust Issues
To Rebuild My Life, I Had to Listen to My Gut
After two abusive relationships, finally trusting my inner voice helped me get back up — and stay there
The first time he punched me, there was no warning.
For a split second, I didn’t understand what had happened. As we walked back into our flat, he was behind me, so I hadn’t seen the fist that came flying at the side of my head. I cannoned forward, hitting the wall hard with my shoulder and sliding down as my legs curled beneath me. My head dropped forward, my face hidden beneath my long auburn hair. I froze, pretending to be unconscious so he wouldn’t hit me again.
I still remember what I was wearing: a loose cream jumper and fitted gray skirt with a side vent, both bought by him. The skirt tore as I fell, and I remember thinking I would have to mend it. There was a sharp pain in my shoulder and a dull ache above my left ear. I wanted to lie down, to be cushioned by the soft, dark carpet. In the pause that followed, I could hear us both breathing — mine, ragged and fast; his, calm and regular.
We had been visiting one of my oldest friends — the only time this happened while we were together. By then I had been with Franc for about eight months, and I had already learned that…
