Today I Learned Something About My Boyfriend That No Girl Should Ever Have to Discover

Mark was the stuff of dreams

Mark was the stuff of dreams. Kind, caring, attentive, enough to make all of my friends jealous. But today something happened, something horrible. Something I wouldn’t wish on even my worst enemy. I found out something about Mark that will forever change my opinion about him, and my ability to trust men has been forever shattered.

Shortly after dinner, my best friend Jessica called me and told me she had some information to share with me about Mark. I begged her to just tell me over the phone, but she insisted that it had to be in person. So we met up an hour later at the Jitterbug Cafe, our favorite java-spot to sip cappuccino and check out acoustic guitar music on a Friday Night. However, tonight the sound of acoustic guitar music would be replaced with the sound of tears, sniffling, tissues being removed from tissue packets, and other sounds that indicate that something sad is happening.

It was there at the cafe that Jessica told me the bad news: Mark is actually just a couple of old hot dogs inside of a very tiny, mohair sweater.

At first I couldn’t believe the words she was saying as they were coming out of her mouth. I’d heard of this happening to other girls, but I…