Member-only story
Trapped in My Body
The Dark Side of a C-Section
Lying flat on the stretcher, I felt lifeless as they wheeled me into the OT around 3:45 PM, Monday. On the way, before they took me in, the nurse told my mother to “see her before the operation.”
I didn’t fully understand what they meant. But I saw tears in my mother’s eyes as if I were going to war. (I was, I didn’t realise it then.)
As I entered the operating room, a team of doctors was waiting. I could see two assistants, my gynecologist, a pediatrician, and one more doctor — five people in total. They asked me to sit still while they prepared an injection — the most enormous syringe I’ve ever seen used on a human. It was anesthesia.
Once inserted it into my back, I felt a sharp pinch, and then… nothing. Numbness took over. They asked me to lie down. I was aware and conscious but disconnected from sensation. One doctor stood close to my head the entire time — maybe to monitor and reassure me.
As they began the procedure, I sensed a sudden shift in the room’s energy. At first, I didn’t understand, but there was a growing unease I couldn’t ignore. One by one, they pressed the fetal monitor to my abdomen, searching for a heartbeat. The silence between their glances said what no one dared to: they couldn’t find it. Tension spiked.
