Ugly Duckling Syndrome

Growing Up Not Conventionally Attractive and How It Alters Who You Are

Disclaimer: I am not fishing for compliments. I was genuinely an ugly child, and the only reason I have a semblance of a personality is because I had to rely on that, not my looks, to get me through. I had a realisation lately that the reason my dating life has sucked is because of the insecurities I carry from growing up “ugly” according to stereotypical beauty standards.

‘Ugly Duckling Syndrome’ is a thing where people who grew up ‘ugly’ but became conventionally attractive later in life struggle to navigate opposite-sex relationships and life in general. They have internalised the feeling of growing up ugly, which has changed how they view themselves and life.

As a child/teen, I was fat and spotty. It was a double combo. Actually, it's a triple whammy because I was hairy, too. When puberty hit I discovered I could grow a sick monobrow and produce enough oil from my face to cook curry for ten years.

I know I didn’t help my case; I grew up being told I couldn't show much skin and had to be modest. Fashion influencers did not exist at this time, so dressing modestly meant wearing thick black tights with any outfit that showed off skin. It also meant wearing ill-fitting clothes year-round. I was just not a pretty…