THIS IS US
Weathering Emotional Storms
In the cyclones of sensation
A powerful nor’easter blew through me this month. Gathering strength for well over two weeks, this complex system rendered travel impossible, resulting in four separate days of canceled plans and a long stretch of sensorily perilous conditions.
Last night, after a couple hours of torrential tears, the storm finally broke. I was still shaken this morning and woke up with a bad headache, but feeling deeply relieved to be past this most recent unstable emotional disturbance.
Sometimes, I am able to map my storms. But others come without any warning or explanation. This was one of those. Suddenly the house shook and windows shattered, leaving me no choice but to scramble for cover. Once the skies went black, it felt like that’s how they were going to stay forever. The passing of every past storm still could not convince me that this one would also be temporary.
Looking back, I’ve been able to better understand this debilitating system’s origin and destructive path. But what impressed me most, as the hail fell and the lightning struck, was how little there was inside me beyond grief and anxiety. It just felt bad. It was hard to attach any words to it as it happened. It was hard to have any clear or complete thoughts at all.
