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Why I’m Eternally Envious of Men
My younger brother was the first man I envied, but certainly not the last
The first time my younger brother received a dollar on New Year’s Eve, I was the typical green-eyed monster. There was a not-so-silent rage bubbling up in my six-year-old body. You see, there was an old New Year’s Eve tradition that came from gods know where, and it stated that the first boy to walk through the door that night was good luck. That such boy would receive a dollar. I had entered the door of my grandparents’ house first, but it made no difference. My younger brother followed me in and he would get the dollar. I wanted that dollar so very badly.
Desiring that thing I could never have because I was not the right type of person was an early lesson in jealousy and envy. My younger brother was the first man I envied but certainly not the last. I am jealous of you as well — my current lover, my friend, my acquaintance, and the man I don’t know.
I’m jealous of your freedom. The way you can walk down the street and they will never notice what you wear. They will never try to grab your arm when you pass. You were walking ahead of me that night and didn’t see. I didn’t tell you because it happened so fast.
You can decide whether or not you want me. I only have the right to say no. And…
