How to Surrender to the In-Between

On liminal spaces and finding comfort in the not knowing

Katy Friedman Miller
Human Parts

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Credit: solarseven/iStock/Getty Images Plus

WWorking in death, dying, and grief, I become acquainted with many ideas that seem strange or unbelievable to some people. I give my attention and even belief to what others tell me about the ways this earthly life might intersect with the next.

One of these concepts is thin places — geographical places on Earth where the veil is thin between this world and the eternal. In these spaces, people feel uncomfortable, confounded, greatly peaceful, or awed because they experience something mysterious and holy.

I’ve come to believe that thin places are not just geographic locations, but also places in time in our everyday lives. Times of transition. Times of grief, change, or instability, when everything is unclear. These times are foggy and often full of fear: We are not who we once were, but not yet who we will be.

One of the most fearful and anxious periods of my life was an in-between time of about two-and-a-half years. I knew my marriage was severely damaged, but I was not convinced that divorce was the right answer. I thought my marriage could work with enough love, time, and therapy.

I was always trying to get a handle on what to do. I wanted to figure it out. I wanted a right answer, a best…

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Katy Friedman Miller
Human Parts

I’m a grief therapist and former hospice social worker. Sharing stories from life, death, and work and where they all intersect. TEDx talk at www.ted.com