When Your Best Friend Hits You With A Flippant Apology

It’s the death knell to a relationship that was already on life support

J.C. Anne Brown
Human Parts
Published in
8 min readDec 15, 2023

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Image: Pexels/Suzy Hazelwood

Imagine — after pouring your heart out to your dearest friend, she texts you this:

I’m so happy we got to chat. I’m terrible with dates. Please send me birthday and anniversary dates. You always remember.

Sorry I haven’t done the same.

Mind you, I’ve known this woman for 25 years.

She helped create my wedding invitations and was one of the first people to visit me following the births of my children. (I was still wearing a postpartum pad, for crying out loud). And this is also the same woman who never ceases to chastise me in a good-natured way when my children continue to address her as “Ms. Marcy” — as I’ve instructed them to do — as opposed to “Aunt Macy” — which is what she wants them to call her.

If I’m honest, bestowing Marcy with a title generally reserved for a blood relative never felt quite right, despite our history. Yes, it’s true that she and I go way back. But it’s also true that our relationship has been peppered with the brand of incidents one doesn’t easily forget.

Marcy and I met during our junior year in college after realizing that our paths had initially crossed when we both cheered for our respective high schools, which also happened to be crosstown rivals. We quickly became the kind of fast friends that shared everything: We studied together, dated friends together, and we would inevitably cry together when said beaus ended up either cheating or leaving. But everything changed when, three years following graduation, Marcy met Nick, whom she would eventually marry. Nick hated me from jump street and, trust me, there was no love lost.

I wish I could say, though, that my reason for despising Nick stemmed from the fact that he would eventually reveal himself to be an entitled, philandering prick, but I wasn’t nearly socially astute enough back then to read the signs. No, the primary reason for my disdain was that Nick had a way of looking down his nose at nearly every move I made. He deemed the construction worker I was…

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