Member-only story
Why Atheists Get Angry
No, we’re not “mad at God”
When I first renounced Christianity, I resented everything that reminded me of religion. I felt betrayed and lied to. My entire understanding of the world had been turned on its head.
I looked back and regretted things I had done when I was younger — putting anti-gay and anti-abortion bumper stickers on my truck; pushing away perfectly good friends because they weren’t Christians.
It wasn’t my nature to be judgmental. I was simply practicing what I had been taught in church.
When I realized purity culture had set me up for a dysfunctional sex life and pushed me to get married too young, I felt violated. I mourned the years I had recoiled from all sorts of coming-of-age experiences.
My beliefs had been hurtful to myself and others, and I felt ashamed.
From a young age, I’d been indoctrinated by a system that I no longer considered true, and the programming wasn’t something I could simply shrug off. It was like it had been hard-coded into my personality. The anger was strongest those first years as I worked to reset myself and my understanding of the world.
I associated my pain with Christianity, and with theism as a whole.
