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Why Birthday Blues Are Tricky, and How I Overcame Them
Our relationships are not defined by how they celebrate our birthday
Every year, I experience a birthday dread. It’s nothing to do with ageing, more a fusion of expectations and anticipated letdowns. And the more people I speak with about birthdays, the more I recognise I’m not the only one who feels peculiar about this day.
I believe birthdays inject steroids into the human need to be seen and known, recognised and loved, valued and acknowledged.
There’s a residual niggle that of all the days that haven’t gone to plan this year; this is my day, the day. Surely, this is a day I will be cherished, and friends and family will message me and give me the warm fuzzy feeling that I am loved and I matter.
And then my birthday comes, and the world spins on because, to everyone else, it’s just a day. Perhaps it’s my annual day of reckoning.
I’m ashamed and embarrassed to admit that I used to judge my relationships by how people showed up for me on my birthday. As if those who remembered and sent me a message were my real friends and those who forgot didn’t really like or value me.
Sure, I get it. Birthdays are just a day, and life is busy. If not for social media reminding us, we may not…
