Why Having Kids Is Selfish

This world will never deserve my babies—and neither will I

Valicia France
Human Parts
Published in
3 min readJan 23, 2019

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Photo: Image_Source_/Getty Images

SSome people who have chosen not to procreate say that having children is a selfish act. For years, I neither understood nor agreed with them. How can having children be selfish? You share your heart and home with the little bundles of joy. You bleed money to take care of them. You may have to sacrifice your dreams and career goals to share your life with them. How is any of that selfish?

But then I actually had children, and everything changed.

I still remember how I felt the first time each of my children fluttered their tiny new bodies in my womb. I remember the first time they looked me right in the eyes with the understanding and acceptance of who I am to them. I remember how my heart filled to bursting the first time I held them.

The joys of parenting are abundant. You never tire of the hugs, the kisses, the “I love yous.” There is daily fulfillment in seeing their growth and independence as they become their own person. One minute you are surviving on sheer grit and determination, finding more and more gray hairs, having multiple heart attacks in less than an hour as you avert disaster after disaster. But the next minute, you’re staring at their angelic faces as they sleep. And as you wind down at the end of the day, you think about how blessed you are to care for such beautiful souls.

And then you turn on the news.

Nothing shatters your idyllic time with your children more than watching the news. Every single time you tune in, you’re inundated with stories of little kids being stolen away, being hurt in the most despicable ways by adults and by peers, being robbed of their childhoods.

My children, my little brown cherubs, were born into a world where having brown skin often brings with it a heavy burden.

And my children, my little brown cherubs, were born into a world where having brown skin often brings with it a heavy burden. Where #drivingwhileblack, #walkingwhileblack, #breathingwhileblack may be viewed as criminal acts. Where some will already consider them aggressive, ignorant, and simply less than because of…

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Valicia France
Human Parts

Writer | "There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you." -Maya Angelou 💜