Motherhood

Why I’m Only Having One Kid

I am an only child, and I’m only having one kid. Here’s why

Illustration: Herekita Con

Here is a guaranteed conversation starter: Tell someone you’re an only child, born of an only child, who has decided to have an only child. Being an only child is somewhat unusual to begin with. Two generations is rare. But three in a row? It is the genealogical equivalent of a unicorn.

I know this because I am a unicorn. My mother is an only child. My father was raised as an only child. (Technically, he had two siblings, but they were older, lived in a different state, and were so estranged that I never met either of them; now both are dead.) As a result, I have no aunts or uncles. I have no cousins that I know of. I have no siblings.

After people have wrapped their heads around this, the next words out of their mouths are usually, “Why did you decide to just have one?” I don’t mind this question, but I’ve realized it carries with it two contradictory assumptions. The first is that there must be a reason. As a society, we have bought into the circular notion that since most people have siblings, it must be better to have siblings, leaving people like me to explain — and sometimes aggressively defend — the choice. A friend of mine once had a stranger approach her as she was shopping for zucchini in Trader…