Why I’ve Stopped Telling People They Look Good
There are more meaningful ways to compliment the people you admire
“She’s pretty, but only when you look at her closely.”
The year was 1988, the place was the school changing room, and the person speaking those words was Lisa, an indisputably pretty classmate.
Lisa was talking about me.
Strange as this may sound, she was actually trying to be nice. Her group of friends, the “in crowd,” so to speak, were standing in a giggling huddle, skinny and flawless in their grown-up satin underwear as the rest of us struggled with our towels, trying not to show too much of our bodies.
“Michelle’s quite pretty. Not stunning, but okay,” one of them said loudly, as her eyes scanned the room for prey. “And Sarah needs to wear more make-up.”
Then her sneering gaze landed on me, silently getting dressed in the corner of the stale, deodorant-scented room and wishing I was somewhere else.
“Nina’s so ugly that even makeup can’t save her.”
That’s when Lisa had spoken up. And as much as she meant well, I suppose, her defense of my looks meant that, for the rest of the day, I became the unwilling center of attention. My classmates, along with a few other people I’d…
